Paranormal Activity (Review)

What I knew going in:
Another Blair Witch type horror movie attempts to scare us all with how creepy real life can be.

Hype:
Meh. While I like horror films, especially their effects, I wasn't sure if this could hold my interest. Low budget films like this tend to try to fill up time through dialogue and real life scenes that can bore you to tears if you can't connect with the characters.

Opening Thoughts:
I hate it when I hit the nail right on the head. The opening of this is as good as a double dose of NyQuil. I keep wondering how these characters are going to die. And that's never a good sign. A movie needs to capture your attention, not leave your mind so idle that it can speculate and daydream during it.

Bottom Line:
Well, as you may have read in other reviews, the end of this movie is pretty scary. It is a great idea and its well played out, but where the movie fails for me is that the "end" should have occurred about forty minutes into the film and it should have continued on with more scares and possibly a real plot. You expect this from an independant film, but I expect more for my $10.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179904/

The Ugly Truth

What I knew going in:
Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl in a romantic comedy about what men and women really want in a relationship.

Hype:
Meh- I figure most of the women I know will have seen this and having also seen it means I can hold a conversation. The things we do... *sigh*

Opening Thoughts:
I had heard nothing good about this movie from anyone. That usually means I will like it. Sure enough, the first few things in this movie are pretty funny. And accurate. Heigl is pretty good looking and its amazing how right Butler's character is. Maybe I should whip out the pencil and take notes.

Bottom Line:
Despite the ease in which you can make poorly disguised one liners with this movie's title, it turns out its a pretty good movie. It exactly what you expect with nothing more or less thrown in. People of both sexes would like to think they are above the lowbrow humor and societally incorrect points that the movie makes, but we aren't. We're mostly sheep. And like sheep, when the critics didn't like this movie people didn't see it. Their loss.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1142988/

Jennifer's Body (Review)

What I knew going in:
Megan Fox in a Horror Comedy about a high school girl that is murdered and turns into a demon.

Hype:
Megan Fox should have her own hype rating. She is all and the only hype for this movie.

Opening Thoughts:
OK this movie is really trying hard to be funny and most of the jokes are groaners or just falling flat. The first 20 minutes are boring as mud. Maybe the teens get it nowadays because I sure don't anymore.

Bottom Line:
Garbage. There's one or two funny lines in the whole film. Its lame. Its fangoria-fodder. And you don't ever get to see Megan Fox's Body. Not even a little bit. Like the most you see is a bare shoulder and cleavage that you can catch on any awards show she is at. I figured this movie was going to be bad but to not even get the R rated payoff is just like the 16-0 Patriots. All Hype and All Fail.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1131734/

Law Abiding Citizen (Review)

What I knew going in:
Jamie Fox and Gerard Butler in a taught thriller about a man whose wife and child are murdered and the murderer serves three years only to be paroled for good behavior...

Hype:
Meh+ As you might have figured from the trailer, this "ordinary law abiding citizen" is anything but, and as such the film might stray from tense thriller into action. . . Both Actors are good, the script was penned by Kurt Wimmer of Equibrium fame, but the director's lead credit is a Video of the Year on the MTV Music Awards? Uh oh....

Opening Thoughts:
You know, right up there on the top of the list of "people I never want to be" is the main character's motivation for revenge. Yikes. The good news is that since this is trying to be mainstream all of the moments that looked like they belonged in SAW cut away just before the savagery started. That's a good thing for this film.

Bottom Line:
What started out as a damn fine movie with great pacing, intrigue, and plot turns into one of the most disappointing and missed opportunity endings of the decade. In the last 20 minutes Butler's plan is revealed - and its just flat DUMB. I'm not going to go into it here as I really try not to spoil movies for people but I walked away shaking my head in disgust. If this was Kurt Wimmer's original ending he has completely lost touch with reality or the ability to craft anything more cunning than a chew toy. It looks like the movie got to a few focus groups who didn't like the ending and wham, Hollywood has to come up with some hack second string writer at the last minute to pull someone else's last minute banana peel from the trash. This is one of those movies that people will be talking about for a few weeks, and I will be watching what the sheep think. I'm going to shut up now as I have a feeling that when said sheep mention this movie it will just stoke the fires of the bitter, bitter anger fuel that burn inside this law abiding citizen.

WTF Trailer Watching Update

So, I just got done with a marathon gaming weekend and was showing a buddy of mine a trailer for Avatar. Abouce once a month or so I like to hit the trailer sites and see what's coming that I need to watch out for. The last time that I went trailer watching the only movie to catch my eye was Daybreakers. Fast forward three months and I go looking.... and this time I see.... NO New Sci Fi Trailers. Horror - check. Drama - Double Check. Romantic Dramedy - Too Many to count. Chic Flix by the dozens. In fact, going back on comingsoon.net, the last NEW trailer for a Sci Fi movie I haven't heard of dated back to..... and August 24th posting of Christopher (Dark Knight) Nolan's "Inception" which is merely a teaser.

Looks like I will be staying home a lot in the coming months....

Zombieland (Review)

What I knew going in:
Woody Harrelson in a Zombie Comedy.

Hype:
Meh+ If you don't know by now that this is right up my alley you're new to my blog.

Opening Thoughts:
Funny. Funny. More Funny. Me as a hero. It even has all the gore and blood and guts a zombie movie should have.

Bottom Line:
Rule #57: Go see good movies in the theater. Its the American version of Shaun of the Dead. Only better. I'm not feeling real witty or verbose tonight.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/

The Fast Track

Pandorum: Space Zombies and a surprise ending. See it.
9: A poorly formed story and 75 minutes of Meh. Pass.
District 9: Best film of the summer. Go Now.
Gamer: A nice musical number non withstanding a complete pile of Blech.
Whiteout: A by the numbers murder mystery. Not bad but slow.
Taking of Pelham 1-2-3: Travola plus Densel equals decent acting that tries to cover up the plot.
Battle for Terra: Good animated kids storytelling. Even my niece liked it.
Angels and Demons: Good Book. Decent Movie.
Night at the Museum 2: Typical Sequel Crapola.

I watched Star Trek like 5 more times and can't wait for the MMO.

Surrogates (Review)

What I knew going in:
Bruce Willis in Sci Fi Action Flick based on the graphic novel of the same name.

Hype:
Meh+ I thought the movie had potential but you can never tell from a trailer.

Opening Thoughts:
Nice effects in the opening few sequences. The surrogates are appropriately plastic and the whole world has kind of an unreal feel to it. But the plot seems to have the same sort of plasticly granular flavor thats making it not go down so well. I wonder if the director had anything to do with I, Robot because the movies have a real similar feel.

Bottom Line:
Well checking up on it in fact the director, Johnathan Mostow, of U571 and Terminator 3 - Rise of the Machines fame had... absolutely nothing to do with I, Robot. So score one for the mysteries of the universe. Anyway, Surrogates is above average overall, say worth a matinee but that's as far as it goes. The plot has no real surprises to it that you won't see coming, the acting isn't special, and the pacing needs work. So you either like dystopian Hard Sci-Fi or not. Next up: The Express Lane version of the last 6 weeks worth of movies in 10 lines or less.... followed by a review of Zombieland.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0986263/

Ed Brubaker's Angel of Death (Review)

What I knew going in:
B actors and a up and coming Director pull together a mob movie that was hyped at Comicon. I'm just a bored sucker I guess.

Hype:
Its a direct to DVD release, so no hype meter.

Opening Thoughts:
The washed out and grainy colorization is a poor attempt at style. The hand to hand fighting is decent, in the typical Mobrutal (tm) fashion. You have to allow for action time, which is when two people are throwing down while the rest of the characters stay static. Lucy Lawless was hotter as a cylon than as this washed up ex-whore with a bad accent.

Bottom Line:
I really really tried to dislike this film. Despite that, some respectable dialogue, competent action sequences, and a halfway original plot make this a fairly good movie. It runs short at 87 minutes, but it does all it needs to during that time. There's nothing witty or snappy about the dialogue, but at least it doesn't sound contrived or out of place. If someone gives Brubaker an original script and some worthy acting talent he has the potential to be a top of the line director. So, this is a passable film worth your time as a rental or on Netflix, just don't expect too much because its just a plain good piece of entertainment. Kind of like M&M's: You know its going to taste good out of the bag, but the experience is one you've already had many many times before.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1269734/

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Theater Review)

What I knew Going In:
Stephen Sommers takes on the Hasbro License, toys from my youth, and all around horrible 80's TV-Show. Stars Dennis Quaid, Damon Wayans, and a bunch of other nobodies.

Hype:
Meh+ The special effects from the previews looked amazing. Could Hollywood bring another dead franchise back to life like they did with Transformers?

Opening Thoughts:
The first ten minutes of this film are AWESOME. Great effects, hopelessly outgunned heroes, and brutal attacks with *gasp* military men dying in the line of combat. OK this has serious potential to get me interested. Wait a sec... SNAKE EYES HAS NEVER HAD LIPS IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF GIJOE. Uh-Oh this plot just got as thin as OH GOD THERE ARE THOSE FRACKIN LIPS AGAIN. Why can't this be rated R so we can see some of the Baroness and Scarlett's .... AAAAAAAAA NINJA LIPS!!!!!!!

Bottom Line:
I wanted to like this movie. I really really did. So lets get this out of the way: The special effects are a 10. No Question, best effects ever. And the action is amazing. Now lets get on to the rest of the film.... Plot: Zilch. Acting: Nada. Costuming: Oof. Are you getting the idea yet? In every aspect other than effects this movie is one of the biggest failures of all time. I have no doubt that the 10-12 year old male market it was designed for will love it. For the rest of the population, its an excuse for a $10 nap. The last words from the absolutely awful helmet of Cobra Commander: "This is only the beginning..." I sure as hell hope not, cause I know I will waste more of my life watching how they stomp the crap out of my childhood.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1046173/