Battle Planet (Review)

What I knew going in:
Nobody in a B SciFi flick. Yep, when I'm bored or need background noise, anything, and I mean anything will do.

Hype:
Hobo Ass. I figured if I was really really lucky I would get something slightly better than a SciFi Original movie.

Opening Thoughts:
Effects aren’t bad – costuming is good. Aquarians? Really? Fish people are the bad guys? Wow that shotgun looks so Nerfy… Oh my God – Best use of a sock puppet EVER. Oh wait, sock puppets get killed by arrows? Shit, where was THAT little tidbit in the Hitchhiker’s Guide? Green skin or not, the first person he finds on planet has a HOT bod. Wow. Alien Tits. I’d like to say that’s a first for me but I’ve watched waaaaayyyyy too much SciFi. You know for a movie called “Battle Planet” its awfully slow. Space Dwarves? Are you frickin serious?

Bottom Line:
Tripe. The script is so painfully bad that you'll swear it was written by the DM at your local game store. I'd rather crash land on a planet full of gay aliens whose idea of gentle and caring includes blood sports and public orifice stretching contests. Avoid this at all costs unless its MST3K night.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1016024/